Index
Objectives
The Cycle of Abuse
How the Abuser Uses Power and Control
Why a Victim Stays
Effects on Children
Objectives
The Cycle of Abuse
How the Abuser Uses Power and Control
Why a Victim Stays
Effects on Children
To understand the changing dynamics of the cycle of abuse in domestic violence
To understand the key issues of power and control
To understand the reasons victims stay with their abusers
To understand the impact exposure to domestic violence has on children
People often think of domestic violence only in terms of swollen black eyes and purple bruises that can be readily seen. In reality, domestic violence is a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors that abusers use to control their intimate partners. It does not just happen—it’s planned and calculated and studies show that there is a “cycle” of violence that moves through phases as shown below.
Queensland Police Service State Domestic Violence Coordinator
The overall aim of abuse is to assert power and maintain control. Read the sections of the diagram below to see how that control is exerted. Although relationships may not be violent initially, the abuser will exercise more and more control over the victim. Without intervention, the violence can get worse and the end result can be fatal.
One who has never experienced repeated abuse over a long period of time will find it difficult to understand why a victim of abuse remains in the abusive relationship. These are common reactions from those untrained in abuse: “Why doesn’t she just leave? No one is stopping her. She must be a very weak person or she would.”
To maintain power and control, an abuser will wear down the self-esteem and self-reliance of his victim. Over time the victim actually believes she is worthless and incapable of doing anything on her own. Therefore, it is very significant when a woman does try to leave an abusive environment. On average, a victim of abuse will leave and return seven times before permanently leaving.
As one who will be ministering to a victim of abuse, it is crucial that you understand why she stays or why she returns. The following are some of the reasons:
AVA gratefully acknowledges the National Center for Children Exposed to Violence and the Child Welfare Information Gateway for information provided in this section.
Each year an estimated 3-10 million children witness assaults against a parent by an intimate partner. They may exhibit substantial responses, both immediate and long-term. The following signs may indicate abuse, though they could also result from a variety of stressful and disturbing situations:
Nature of the violence – Children who witness frequent and severe violence or do not see their caregivers resolving conflict may experience more distress than children who witness fewer incidences of physical violence and observe positive interactions between their caregivers.
Coping strategies and skills – Children with poor coping skills are more likely to experience problems than children with strong coping skills and supportive social networks.
Presence of child abuse – Children who witness domestic violence and are physically abused are at more risk for increased levels of emotional and psychological maladjustment than children who only witness violence and are not abused.
Age of the child – Younger children appear to exhibit higher levels of emotional and psychological distress than older children. Age-related differences might result from older children’s more developed cognitive abilities to understand the violence and select various coping strategies to alleviate upsetting symptoms.
Elapsed time since exposure – Children often have heightened levels of anxiety and fear immediately after a violent event. Fewer observable effects are seen in children as more time passes after the violent event.
Gender – In general, boys exhibit more “externalized behaviors” (e.g. aggression or acting out) while girls exhibit more “internalized” behaviors” (e.g. withdrawal or depression).
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